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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Conflicted





Halloween was so much fun we started off at grandma's house for snacks and hot apple cider and then moved on to stop at a few friends to trick or treat and then jumped right back into the warm car. It was just way too cold to go from house to house. Justin was really excited about be a bottle of mustard:) what a good man I have:) Hailey thought it was the funniest thing in the world so that made it worth it for all of us.


These past few months have been very conflicting for me. Justin and I really want to sell our house and move into the country where we can raise Hailey and any other future rugrats that may come along but prices are just too high right now to do that. We will probably have to wait another 2 years before we can afford that. In the meantime we have decided to put off having another baby until we get on the property that we want. In the past few months I have had the baby blues soooo bad. I don't think I can wait another 2 years. Hailey will be almost 6 if we do that and that would be like starting our family all over again. I think I will have a serious talk with my wonderful husband and see what he thinks??? The other thing that is bothering me is that I don't think I want to work until my kids are both in school. We could do it but it would definitely be a lifestyle change for everyone and then we would never get our new house:( I have a wonderful job right now that I am very grateful for but more and more it is feeling less fufilling for me, probably in large part due to the fact that every morning it 's getting harder and harder to drop Hailey off at daycare knowing I wont be back to get her for 10 hours. It just doesn't seem right. No offense to working mothers:) Something weird that I can't explain has been going on with me lately. I have always been all about my career and wanting to get further ahead but lately all I want to do is stay at home with my baby and do domesticated things around the house, like making sure supper is ready for Justin when he gets home. I know right now my friends and family are laughing out loud ( Laugh away mom). Who knows maybe my hormones are just out of wack and I'm feeling this way because I'm already pregnant...wouldn't that be funny:) Anyway, we'll see what happens.

We got our wedding video back from the videographer. I was a little disappointed. I had given him 3 songs that I wanted him to put on there and he only used one over and over again. Also, He didn't even put any footage of the reception or the band on the video. What was the point of paying $1500 for a band if I don't have any pictures or video to remember it? Oh well, everyone that I have talked to said that they had a great time so I guess that's all that matters. Out of the whole wedding that is my only complaint so I guess I should be grateful. It was the wedding of my dreams and better yet, I am now married to the man of my dreams and my very best friend in the whole world...I am so lucky!

Well I better get going. Justin doesn't have school tonight so he will be home. I put a yummy roast in the crock pot before I left for work so it should be all ready by the time I get home:)

4 comments:

Mrs. Darling said...

Ill link to you when I get the time. Probably tonight. You need to leave your website addy at all the families blogs.

thevbunch said...

Hi, my dear niece,good to have a place to keep up with your life a little. Your "conflicting" emotions and thoughts are called "Maturity" and more mommies of this world would do well to heed those God-given instincts of motherhood and caring for our husbands.

Rachelle said...

Thank you my dear aunt. Acutally, I spoke to my darling hubby last night and we decided that Lord willing I am going to quit my job the end of summer when he graduates from school! it's a scary thought but ever since we had our talk I have had peace of mind about it. I'm sure God will take care of the rest I just have to have a little more faith:)

gramma_s said...

At last I found your blog. I tried the address you left on my site but it didn't seem to work. Now I don't know How I got here, O, I know you left a footprint, :-) I'm happy, that your happy and it is great to see some pictures Little Hailey gets cuter evertime I see a picture of her.